avery

I wrote a poem to submit to an online publication on the theme of favourite space/place n got rejected and it gave me some thoughts. I was kind of expecting this as I didn't think the poem even fit the brief enough/was probably not something they were looking fro, but submitted it anyway. I think I have this problem a lot of not fitting into boxes or briefs to submit stuff to which Im not mad about, but just thought it was interesting, especially when Ive been thinking a lot about the industries/independent/the media n technology aspect of industries. I remember after graduation jeremiah said smthn about difference between checking boxes n I said story of my life as a kind of joke but it kind of isnt now i am realising lmao. Also remembered doing Creative Writing at AS level and how the exam was set up was if you wrote something simple with the brief you were given you'd get a C/average kinda grade, but then if you wanted to get a better grade you had to write something more in

 Got sum books from the library agggggggesss ago and thought i should prob return it. but took pics of important pgs n notes I had, as it gave me a couple visual ideas for my deld project. Gerhard Richter: Cecil Breton.

Note: this is an idea, but will probably go on the backburner for a bit as I have so many projects to be getting on with, but had some ideas and thoughts so thought to just dump them here and have a bit of a freewrite. Hopefully Ill collect more ideas gradually and develop it that way and then eventually just smahs it out. Really been into writing lately as mylappy top is fixed and I can just smash shit out in google docs. have an essay im gonna finish soon about Rooms. the class system . money but also socially.   monologues !! been thinking of them for a while and was so interesting to see how a play functioned with one actor!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! characters that weren't really there but she would speak to, worked extremely well. The way the audience is also involved as its kinda directed towards them but also not at all - without the expectation of a response/not a panto. the class system ! so relatable personally. even tho im not in law work stuff, in the arts/media/big boy i

 monologues !! been thinking of them for a while and was so interesting to see how a play functioned with one actor!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! characters that weren't really there but she would speak to, worked extremely well. The way the audience is also involved as its kinda directed towards them but also not at all - without the expectation of a response/not a panto. the class system ! so relatable personally. even tho im not in law work stuff, in the arts/media/big boy industries.  The class system in the UK is really smthn thats really affected me, so i really liked to see this topic explored on stage Got out the cinema n tweeted how i wanted to beat men up ! OBVIOUSLy not all men just Those Ones, since the play was about sexual assault it made me think of all the shitty men ive met ok, and I GOT Suspended for 12 hours !so i cant tweet about the play or anything now.  I wrote a whole essay while on the bus in my notes app !  I think also i will go see it again bc theyve got some

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRelR78Y7_Q&list=PLDrvOrES38GRxMvVJ5KnOv2DWW817P86C Started in the past year or so this series where I take a B&W photo and record 30sec of sound.  So far I have 12 on youtube and was scheduling them to be posted once a week. I have a few more i need to edit, but my laptop has given up a little bit so hopefully can get it fixed this week. I borrowed a laptop from work for the weekend, it hasnt got adobe stuff on it though, but Ive noticed how having a laptop has made me already more productive in the sense i've been doing stuff especially on here and been working on my essay a lil bit. Also since im getting my laptop fixed I will also get the battery changed so I can start taking it to the library with me after I finish work yay. I like this series so far, but have no idea how many I'm going to do. I like how sometimes it kinda looks like the photo is moving? ? ?  Also, wanna make more 'throw away' stuff like this as I think its

 Read Present Laughter by Noel Coward. Want 2 read more plays n stuff and saw the performance of this last year so good place 2 start.  Got the copy from the library so scanned the pages i tabbed of lines/bits I liked or whatever.

So restless 2 night. Anxiety has been  Here .. she's not paying rent tho.. I started reading the rest of my dissertation as I got halfway thru rereading it 2day and then started typing on blog n i think since having a job n having to get up early, When i feel like this/restless I just have to try sleep bc I cant fuck my sleep pattern up but usually what happens is I end up either laying in bed for hours not sleeping til 2am or sometimes even later n then feel exhausted at work anyway... Workin away on stuff has made me feel loads better already. its like agitation/adrenaline? i have no clue tho. Reminds me, The other day/often I think about how with art n projects n stuff I really just need to absolutely rinse thru some stuff n obsessively do it, one main example would be 35mm film like ik i just need to take a shit ton but who tf has the money, make dozens of abstacty painty stuff n i think that would be a good cure for everything right now.  Hesitation n art. My brain all eggy???

listened to podcast interviewing fiona Shaw n she spoke of this play n I've been wanting to learn about playwrights and theatre more again anyway. then straight after work went to library took me a while to find a copy but I found it. originally looked in the plays section but was im the russian lit section . a lot of talk aboit translations and translators.. never really heard/ seen it with others. maybe bc its a play? has a lot more to do with actions n idioms in the gesture sense . if that makes sense.  noticed this in the beginning of the preface and this guardian article on fiona Shaw thimg https://amp.theguardian.com/stage/2003/aug/13/theatre.edinburghfestival2003 Reading the Sea Gull & realised / thought about how you can relate to not many people around you /feel so far away, but then read something either just one line/sentence or a piece of work of something from hundreds of years ago and know exactly what they're on about. Strangely comforting?? relating to dead

How to Academy Podcast - Fiona Shaw - A life on Stage and Screen 26:11 'you said earlier in a way all theater is stand up comedy' ' comedy's quite hard to do becasue if you find it funny it really isnt funny. But of course, you have to find it funny. You have to know its funny, but you mustn't play that its funny, because the situation isnt funny, so i mean i think my pleasure has been finding comic moments in things like bedeyer?? or hedigabre? (cant work out what shes saying) which was very funny. and then of course, the evening is {.??} for the audience because they think its funny but then it really isnt funy. And i think a lot of really good drama does that. There should be nothing that doesnt have funny moments in it.' 'Comedy is often built on the gap between someones expectation and  their failing to get it, but how they asssume they've got it.' 'Interviewer: THinking of Johnanthan Miller, so he used to say that he wouild go on the tube