sept/october 2025
OCT11
kinda stopped doing the week in art posts. idk if i should start or just do dump updates like these, as i was struggling to keep up with them. think ive taken a bit of a break from art lately, but i think its coming back to me... hopefully. been playing football and sorting my car mostly which has been nice, the exercise is good and been learning a lot about my car which is also good.
I was looking at/sorting some todo lists and i had tarot film on to do list. theres a lot of projects i wanna finish but idk if i should get on and finish them or abandon them, as ive technically abandoned them at least temporarily, as there's stuff in the way of finishing them if that makes sense, for example with the shopping lists and getting them printed.
I think im drifting away from making films/videos, as idk if i wanna do the tarot film. maybe ill shoot some video b roll with my camera and go from there? or maybe its more of a summer project and will come back to me next yr...
think my main focuses should be painting, sound, and writing as i think i like them the best..... although i dont really know my intentions with painting. have so much stuff to sort life wise, so hopefully can get thru that and have more space and time to actually get on with shit.
I also think art wise im kinda uninspired, especially by the way it now exists in the world/society and the gallery is not something im particularly interested in... I think i need to meet other creative people as that will prob help. not Creatives but creative ppl.
Had a phone call with the job centre the other week and was asked if im still persueing the art stuff (in a bit of a snarky way i feel) and tbh im not. THe ccreative jobs dont interest me and im quite happy with the job i have atm eventho i cant rlly use the toilet and itll prob destroy my body.
gonna post some pics of the few art things ive done and also my car.
painting- who what,
sound - decent i guess
writing - love doing non fic stuff. need to do more substack bits
poetry night thing thinking about, dont know where i stand with art, dont know how good i am at anything. criticism is something i think i like as its ifficult to look at ur own work with any sort of perspective at times.
footballl, wanna play but hard to know whee to play / who to play with
OCT22
feeling btter about stuff. tidied my room today so that prob helped. think ive been too perfectionist w my sketchbooks n need to make some crap rahter than trying to make everything nice
PIC DUMP
18 sept
28oct
had a flop.. but then came back up and flopped back again a little.
researching n thinking a bit helps and learning stuff in general. bummed that i havent been doing as much art, in fact barely any at all but ive got other shit to be doing at the minute.
sunday i went to another concert, a band id never heard of before. the venue and queue was so terrible it made me loose hope for humanity. i dont want to be a misanthropic person but its difficult not to be. i think a lot of people are rude and inconsiderate. also hate public toilets
had some fun thoughts on way home...
-concert made me think of language.. was thinking a big while ago about it visually in art & gibberish / the illusion of language.. in music too - cranberries song and bowie song off the low album.. at concerts u also cant rlly tell what theyre saying which is nice at times, dont rlly need to know the actual words if that makes sense bc it adds to the song in another sonic/audio way.
- car parts... car things 'going wrong' vs maintenance... a lot of parts need to be changed at so many miles anyway so whats the line between maintenance and having issues w ur car?
- why is green for go
- why do things go slow motion when u fall over for example?? want to research time and passage of it and perception of it.
feeling better today tho. hoping i can get some things done and have fun on halloween and then sort my car next week...
think also im having bouts of discouragement... i either cant get things sorted or finished or i finish things and then thats it. paintings sit by my walls and sound sits online with no conversation or criticism. I think i need to be more sociable which i think ive done a lot more of this past year, but im not the type of person to have a lot of friends and i like to find special few which is annoying at times but its just how it is. would be nice to start an art club or somethin but im too busy. also want to get back into football so that would take an extra day or two of my week.
been reading the count of monte cristo and enjoying it.. thinking is good 4 ur brain
researching art as experience...
wear marks, desire paths, maybe do something n carry it in pocket?
28th oct
cant change the weather but can change my mind.
good day.. struck off loads of blog posts that have been plaguing me..
also painting exercise. and made a stew.
more pics
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