Jrnl dump of interesting bitz - to cut up?

 COud do smthn with some of this?

could do it for some cash money as i could do with the cash money right now. Cash Money

an abstract place of where i want to be/am going./ whatever theres some seedy gap between wet walls i need to go between some gap between gray bricks that i find in the rain. (the rain smells so good)

this place isnt anywhere that has a name but ik its there n is where im meant to be and am pulled towards? or am supposed to look for?? 
The secret reoccuring dream garden.

This idea is slipping away from me alreayd spiritually n idek what im really menaning or was feeling when i wrote it 5/10 min ago.

People are afraid of cheat codes that are frowned upon.
All the advice they give is for you to be like them. they loan u their own faces . that they loaned off someone else and so on,,.. blockbuster for personas

Perhaps this place will come at the end.I feel thats a very life thing to do. To become clear at the very end when all's done and dusted.

new thought as typing out: when on bday 22nd. on zoom. scared ill get to the end of my life and then realise what i was supposed to do with it. 
dont rlly feel this way anymore i dont think but i think its an interesting thought.
East of eden. Time and signposting life events how this makes it feel longer or shorter.

Im on my side!
am on ur side 
FOR REAL.

want to focus on being round. i want to be on my side. I want to learn lots know lots . be reliable. 

time n living ur life n money n no money = uneventful life?