life update :P

I am now unemployed.. which i am kind of happy about as I now have lots of time.  I would like to get a little job however I am getting top surgery in december so really do not think there's any point unforntunately as I am going to have no money inc no money to leave the house really. I was thinking i could pick up some bar shifts or something but 

I'd like to do a few little jobs and open call stuff but i feel for things like that you really have to know people.
Just b4 my job ended I auditioned for a play but i didnt get it but in their feedback they said it was close . also i think a cis person got it but whatever, bit weird but whatever. I think after I get top surgery i really need to focus on getting back into my body as I think as soon as i started puberty originally i was launched so far from it and so far from the world in general but ik its going to be difficult. Im gonna make a list i think. inc things like join this acting group i saw and going rock climbing or ice skating and even simple things like lying in grass without my binder hurting. And it will be nice to have a full motion of my body eventually rather than it being locked and stiff.

I think a lot of stuff i need to do or want to do i have to sort so much other shit first or wait. and idling is the worse. Having lots to do but have to wait for it, having lots to do but at the same time nothing at all. For example I have some photos and videos in mind, however my camera is still mouldy from my old place, but i want to wait til ive paid for surgery so i def can make sure i dont overspend. 

Ive been unemployed for a week on Tuesday and so far i feel i havent done much. I also think that a lot of projects take time and having no physical reward after working on something all day or for months even can be really discouraging.