avery

I am now unemployed.. which i am kind of happy about as I now have lots of time.  I would like to get a little job however I am getting top surgery in december so really do not think there's any point unforntunately as I am going to have no money inc no money to leave the house really. I was thinking i could pick up some bar shifts or something but  I'd like to do a few little jobs and open call stuff but i feel for things like that you really have to know people. Just b4 my job ended I auditioned for a play but i didnt get it but in their feedback they said it was close . also i think a cis person got it but whatever, bit weird but whatever. I think after I get top surgery i really need to focus on getting back into my body as I think as soon as i started puberty originally i was launched so far from it and so far from the world in general but ik its going to be difficult. Im gonna make a list i think. inc things like join this acting group i saw and going rock climbing or ice

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BioghInKf94 kill ur darlings beat gen

 I HAVVE NOT BEEN EATING GOOD BEING EMPLOYED WAS BAD 4 ME I NEED 2 EAT AGAIN , I MISS THE ENERGY I GOT FROM IT. READ READ READ WATCH WARCH AND WATCH AND LEARN AND PLAY WANT 2 WRITE MORE POEMS BUT MY BRAIN ISNT IN THE SWING OF IT AND NOT THINKING RIGHT ALL FULL AND SO EMPTY . NEED TO GET BACK INTO THAT KND OF LANGUAGE AND THE LANGUAGE OF ART , BC I FEEL IVE BEEN CASTRATED FROM IT FOR A WHILE, PERHAPS NOT FULLY BUT ENOUGH TO DAMPEN THE SPARK THAT KEEPS ONE ALIVE. BUT ALSO BEEN ON FIRE FOR SO LONG AT TEH SAME TIME, SEETHING AND MELTING