deldrama 2nd evaluation

Since finishing uni, I've been wanting to work on/properly complete the sound project i had been doing, delicate dramas of the withdrawn consciousness, however life has been pretty much all over the place since the end of May. I've decided im going to do a rundown here because i think it would help me feel more Valid and also go into the last week where ive been trying to get back into it.

During June, I was taking a break/sharing my room w my m8 who needed somewhere to stay, then my rent ended at the end of the month and i had to pack my stuff up and stayed w Grace in July, so all my things were in boxes. Then I went back to my mums for 2months while i looked for places , stuff still in boxes, and then i finally moved to manchester in October, and had to unpack, get some furniture, clean the house, etc. And I think since then i've been p much settling in, did a few paintings, and making clay rings, but cant really remember what else. 
At the beginning of this month/year, I started using Notion n its p much sorted me out i think. But now Im going to have to move AGAIN bc my roommate is {redacted} n its not gud for me Brain lmao. I've had a p unstable time, and was hoping that this flat was somewhere i could stay for a good solid amount of time (a year?), but it is what it is, i guess. 

Anyway, the other week i did some painting and started editing the Untitled/guitar feedback piece again. I did this on and off for a few days as because its all guitar feedback and can b a bit headachey when ur listening thru headphones & loud enough to hear the layers n stuff.
I guess the reason I'm writing this is bc I want to work on it more, but have found myself procrastinating and being thrown off track and its making me question it all.

I think im putting it off, because getting back into it and relearning of what i was trying to do and remember it all is a very Big/Overwhelming thing and also at the same time i kind of hate it and feel if i edit it/work on it more its going to be some whole different thing? At the same time, I do have a time limit to do it, as I dont know how long my student adobe package is gonna last and i obviously cant afford it at full price and in April if Universal Credit is cut by £20 a week i likely wont even be able to afford the student price lmao.

I'm hoping by redoing an evaluation from a later perspective might help me ease back into it and get a grasp of my bearings. 

ive had a few 'relistens', and i think some of it is p good and the piece has a good structure for sure. By the end of the last track, it really felt like an ending, which is good. However some of the tracks need quite big alterations in my opinion, and some are good but need touch ups, and others are solid; which im going to go further into below.

Hate 2 reshare this bc some of it is bad n embarrassing, but for reference here it is from may rough cut/what i submitted:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nfmAJaiayQ)

main thing ive noticed about the thing as a whole is its very right ear heavy, so i need to sort that for sure.

UNTITLED
The guitar feedback piece is coming along, although i feel that no matter how much i work on it, i cant get it right. Its either too pitched, or not pitched enough, or not gravely enough or too gravely, or not toneless enough or there's too many tones.? ???? 
The other day, I was thinking of trying to have some actual music guitar thru out but i feel like that would take away the wall of sound aspect that i was going for to open the piece/album?

RESURFACING, MAYBE
I have also started editing resurfacing, maybe on Soundtrap, as it has MIDI options, and i might do this with all the tracks as adobe isnt a good financial option lol.
I dislike the chords/arpeggios, and think im going to figure out some guitar chords next week and merge it into the end of untitled. 

INCOMING
I think im going to take this track out and slap it at the end of resurfacing. i also dont like the title, so that gets rid of that.

PHONE CALL
this is okay, but needs A LOT doing to it. The arpeggios? They def need to Go, and the break/phone dial parts need touching up. Also might change the words or cut some of them out and edit them less in terms of pitch. I h8 Singing but might see what it sounds like bc idk what else to do n if its garbage i can just delete it !

The other week i was listening to Julee Cruise and I remember came on and it gave me a new vibe idea for this track, so going to try mix this idea and chop it up using pauses and the phone dial sound. 

Also, I may move it to after a revisit, as i think it would fit in the loose narrative ive created through out this better.

FAR OUT
p good tbh. hate some of it, but might just look over it a bit and tweak it. might cut the first line out 'these roads arent royal' as i really do not like it. I was unsure about it as i was submitted the demo and didnt just want to delete that line bc of feeling insecure, however, now i think it really doesnt fit and by just having 'we're far out' adds a bit more dissonance. 
Also im going to take the warped 'farout's near the end but might leave the last one.

ROYAL RD
cool cool. a bit shit, bc i recorded using DSLR as thats all i had, but feel like it adds to the Vibe. ALso, some of it goes out of sync at some point, so im going to try and fix that.

A REVISIT
love her

A DREAM WITH A MEANING
This is Messy, as because I had so many clips in adobe it was going so slow so it got to a point where i just had to export what i had, but there are some bits that i like. Was thinking of splitting it into sections and then merge them 2gether to make it easier.
Some of it i think is okay, but i really hate the pitched down bit toward the mid end. I think im going to sort the other tracks out and then re-start/re-edit this.

TO WHOMEVER IT MAY CONCERN
Love this tbh. There's a sexy key change at the end but then i switched back to the beginning key, so i might change that so it only switches once. Need to make the crashing at the end more prominent?

UNTITLED REPRISE
it fades out n i dont like that. Want it just to stop.
I really like this as an ending and it works well after the prev track. Is a good resting and allows u to process what youve listened to throughout. Also have been doing a bit of yoga and it reminds me of the Shavasana/Corpse pose at the end, when youre 'digesting' the prevoius 20mins or so. 

Overall, I feel loads better about this project after listening to the demo a few times. I think for a while i felt really overwhelmed by it and couldnt get back into it, but now I can clearly see where I'm going with it and i think as a whole its quite strong and when i finish it it can be pretty good. Also, think that when i was feeling overwhelmed I couldn't see it as a finished piece and was worried that id just be unhappy with it forever and it would never feel finished, so hopefully all goes well.