hard timeZ

ok this is a throwaway post, but not VIBING TBH!!
idk wtf im doing which is fineeee
think i just have so many sources n options/ideas of what i want to do and i feel as though im doing absolutely nothing and idk where tf time goes!!!
im constantly recollecting n starting again n it just feel wasteful, but at the same time i cant rlly do anything when everything gets messy. Also i think i want my sound piece 2 b good obviously n i dont rlly feel like i like my old stuff n im trying to still figure out what im actually doing with sound as well as this i want to combine words n sounds but even speaking in the pieces just feels dumb eventho its probably not at all.
its like seeing/hearing urself is so weird n bc i dissociate a lot n feel i see things in 3rd person its lowkey like embarrassment AND second hand embarrassment at the Same Time but its not embarrassment idk what it is

if anything this will b good to put in my evaluation but just felt like posting smthn lmao bc i think it would be good to be more open in it as well as in general