Shower Portraits - First Shoot | 11.10.17
I had some ideas for some portraits that I came up with while looking through books I found in the library as well as a few images that I saw online when looking for artists that did self-portraits.
I really dislike these images and they didn't turn out how I originally imagined as they look awkward and so, i feel, they don't capture what I originally intended. Above, you can see how i experimented with the framing and focal length and I used the flash in all of the images as I wanted an exposed look. I also wanted a deep depth of field, so I made sure to keep the focal length high and a low aperture.
The first few images I took were very warm due to the white balance (as you can see in the first photo) which I did not like, so then I altered it and preferred it way more. The squared photos, in my opinion look a lot better, and now I kinda wish I had tried it with the 3:2 framing but horizontal, however at the time I thought that the background would show this way and I wanted my face to at least almost fill the entire frame. I definitely prefer the second and fourth ones as they look the most natural whereas the other two look positioned awkwardly. The second is my favourite as it shows more of the face and the slight blurriness of it shows movement as I moved my hand to cover my face. I intentionally wanted red nail polish that was chipped, as it is an intense colour and I feel the fact that its chipped creates a sense of realism.
The hole idea of this was to represent how it can feel to take a portrait and how at first I didn't like it and so I covered my face with my hands.
The framing of the photo was inspired by "Self-Portrait, Big and Imperfect" by Joanne Ratkowski which then developed into me experimenting more from this. I think the idea also grew from the other self portraits I did (read/see them here) where I focused on the idea of artists, in particular Andy Warhol) being uncomfortable behind the camera and how this was shown in their portraits.
I was inspired by the portraits by Henri Cartier-Bresson especially the one he did of Jose Bergamin. Cartier-Bresson's idea of the gaze inspired me as it made me think of how I could present dissociation/depersonalisation/derealisation in my piece as it shows the subjects relationship with their surroundings. The idea of it being in the shower came to me when I saw the photo by Yuri Nagashima and 'Shower' by Rossina Bossio (both shown below) as I liked the aesthetics of them and this further links to dissociation because if anywhere is a dissociation place it is the shower. Another artist I looked at that followed this 'out of place idea' was Lisa Ohlweiler who took photographs of herself while she was staying at friends' apartments to show how awkward and invasive she felt in other people's homes and spaces (also shown below).
I then further developed my idea by deciding to wear clothes in the image for multiple reasons. The first is to take the idea of derealisation further as it shows a detachment to reality in the setting of the shower and i decided to have a 'fancy' floral shirt on to resemble an event of some sort and how being in a busy place is and where your mind goes, in a metaphorical way. I guess it's kind of difficult to describe, but if you've ever dissociated or depersonalised, i think you may understand. It's as if your head is somewhere else. If any of this making sense?
Hopefully the photograph themselves portray this. The second reason, that I only really fully realised and thought about this now, as I am writing this blog post, is due to my body dysphoria and the comfortableness of being in the shower. In addition to this, I wanted to experiment with the theme of gender expression (a theme that reoccurred in the portraits I was drawn to by other artists), hence the make-up and floral. I also, in a way, think the images could have a comedic tone to them.
After finishing the shoot in the shower, I decided to reattempt to take the photos of my hands over my face, with my makeup smeared and hair wet. It worked out really well and I liked the outcome of the photos because I think the wet hair and smeared eye make-up creates a nice aesthetic which follows the glam/queer/kinda punk ideas that I originally had. As well as this, I think it combines the shower idea and original hand over face photos that are at the top of this post, it's interesting to see how my idea developed while shooting and experimenting.
These fishnet images were inspired by Jurgen Klauke's photos that I saw in a book I got from the library and it then went on to me thinking of how it would look with fishnets. I think the fishnets are another way of the concept of hiding/disguising when behind the camera like with the hands and glasses in some of my other photos.
I really love the aesthetic of the photos above. The tights look like a bubble around the head, like a helmet of some kind with how it bunches around the neck with the precise hair that looks really effective wet. I think the last one turned out the best. As well as this, I like how the long frame worked out, making the subject almost fill the frame. The last two photos below photos were inspired by Robert Mapplethorpe's self portraits where he uses a slower shutter speed to create a blur effect, and I thought I could use this as a way to show the reoccurring theme of identity and being behind the camera like my other photos that I have previously discussed.
SOURCES:
SELF-PORTRAIT PHOTOGAPHY BY NATALIE DYBISZ, PUBLISHED BY ILEX, 778.92DYB
AUTO-FOCUS: THE SELF PORTRAIT IN CONTEMPORARY PHOTOGRAPHY BY SUSAN BRIGHT, PUBLISHED BY THAMES AND HUDSON, 778.92BRI
I decided to attempt to shoot some of these ideas with the help of Lukas on Wednesday the 18th of October. The main idea I wanted to do was in the shower, fully dressed, as well as a close up with my hands over my face.
LEFT TO RIGHT:
55mm, f/5.6, 1/25, ISO-400 | 34mm, f/4.5, 1/25, ISO-400 | 23mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO-400 | 37mm, f/4.5, 1/25, ISO-400
55mm, f/5.6, 1/25, ISO-400 | 34mm, f/4.5, 1/25, ISO-400 | 23mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO-400 | 37mm, f/4.5, 1/25, ISO-400
I really dislike these images and they didn't turn out how I originally imagined as they look awkward and so, i feel, they don't capture what I originally intended. Above, you can see how i experimented with the framing and focal length and I used the flash in all of the images as I wanted an exposed look. I also wanted a deep depth of field, so I made sure to keep the focal length high and a low aperture.
The first few images I took were very warm due to the white balance (as you can see in the first photo) which I did not like, so then I altered it and preferred it way more. The squared photos, in my opinion look a lot better, and now I kinda wish I had tried it with the 3:2 framing but horizontal, however at the time I thought that the background would show this way and I wanted my face to at least almost fill the entire frame. I definitely prefer the second and fourth ones as they look the most natural whereas the other two look positioned awkwardly. The second is my favourite as it shows more of the face and the slight blurriness of it shows movement as I moved my hand to cover my face. I intentionally wanted red nail polish that was chipped, as it is an intense colour and I feel the fact that its chipped creates a sense of realism.
The hole idea of this was to represent how it can feel to take a portrait and how at first I didn't like it and so I covered my face with my hands.The framing of the photo was inspired by "Self-Portrait, Big and Imperfect" by Joanne Ratkowski which then developed into me experimenting more from this. I think the idea also grew from the other self portraits I did (read/see them here) where I focused on the idea of artists, in particular Andy Warhol) being uncomfortable behind the camera and how this was shown in their portraits.
After these, we went on to shoot the shower idea I had.
 |
| 18mm | f/4 | 1/25 | ISO-200 |
ABOVE: 18mm | f/4 | 1/25 | ISO-200
I was inspired by the portraits by Henri Cartier-Bresson especially the one he did of Jose Bergamin. Cartier-Bresson's idea of the gaze inspired me as it made me think of how I could present dissociation/depersonalisation/derealisation in my piece as it shows the subjects relationship with their surroundings. The idea of it being in the shower came to me when I saw the photo by Yuri Nagashima and 'Shower' by Rossina Bossio (both shown below) as I liked the aesthetics of them and this further links to dissociation because if anywhere is a dissociation place it is the shower. Another artist I looked at that followed this 'out of place idea' was Lisa Ohlweiler who took photographs of herself while she was staying at friends' apartments to show how awkward and invasive she felt in other people's homes and spaces (also shown below).
I then further developed my idea by deciding to wear clothes in the image for multiple reasons. The first is to take the idea of derealisation further as it shows a detachment to reality in the setting of the shower and i decided to have a 'fancy' floral shirt on to resemble an event of some sort and how being in a busy place is and where your mind goes, in a metaphorical way. I guess it's kind of difficult to describe, but if you've ever dissociated or depersonalised, i think you may understand. It's as if your head is somewhere else. If any of this making sense?Hopefully the photograph themselves portray this. The second reason, that I only really fully realised and thought about this now, as I am writing this blog post, is due to my body dysphoria and the comfortableness of being in the shower. In addition to this, I wanted to experiment with the theme of gender expression (a theme that reoccurred in the portraits I was drawn to by other artists), hence the make-up and floral. I also, in a way, think the images could have a comedic tone to them.
Out of all the shower ones we shot that day, I think the sitting down ones turned out the best, however I did not feel fully happy with the outcome of these photos. I didn't like how you can't really see where I am looking and the images are slightly out of focus, in addition to this, the lens steamed up from the shower so they aren't as clear as they could be. I wanted to shoot with a tripod however we didn't have one, but I kept it in mind for when we were going to re-shoot. The aperture had to be pretty low so the images were not too dark as I wanted the ISO as low as possible, so the depth of field is shallower than I wanted it. Because I wanted a deep depth of field, I kept the focal length at 18mm and in addition to this, i wanted the shutter speed to be able to capture the water running off me, so that was set at 1/25.
18mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO100
I really like the above photos and, like photos I've taken previously, I used the flash as I wanted that exposed 'look' again. The photos also turned out to be slightly out of focus however I like how this carries on the theme of identity and a blurred sense of self. The two photos below are similar, yet closer and more abrupt, not leaving any room for a background as my face takes up the whole frame. It works well with there being close detail captures like water drops and the nail polish.
55mm, f/5.6, 1/25, ISO100
25mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO 100 | 18mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO 100
55mm, f/5.6, 1/25, ISO100
These fishnet images were inspired by Jurgen Klauke's photos that I saw in a book I got from the library and it then went on to me thinking of how it would look with fishnets. I think the fishnets are another way of the concept of hiding/disguising when behind the camera like with the hands and glasses in some of my other photos.
18mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO100 | 23mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO100 | 23mm, f/4, 1/25, ISO 100 |
23mm, f/4, 1/25 ISO100
I really love the aesthetic of the photos above. The tights look like a bubble around the head, like a helmet of some kind with how it bunches around the neck with the precise hair that looks really effective wet. I think the last one turned out the best. As well as this, I like how the long frame worked out, making the subject almost fill the frame. The last two photos below photos were inspired by Robert Mapplethorpe's self portraits where he uses a slower shutter speed to create a blur effect, and I thought I could use this as a way to show the reoccurring theme of identity and being behind the camera like my other photos that I have previously discussed.
18mm, f/4, 1/30, ISO200 | 18mm, f/4. 1/8, ISO200 | 18mm, f/4,1/8, ISO200
SOURCES:
SELF-PORTRAIT PHOTOGAPHY BY NATALIE DYBISZ, PUBLISHED BY ILEX, 778.92DYB
AUTO-FOCUS: THE SELF PORTRAIT IN CONTEMPORARY PHOTOGRAPHY BY SUSAN BRIGHT, PUBLISHED BY THAMES AND HUDSON, 778.92BRI
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